Today I cried saying goodbye to Piper's preschool teachers. They are the best kind. The kind that give extra hugs and little kisses at final goodbyes. The kind that makes a special book with drawings from friends and creates a cover that reminds her that she will be missed. When she asks me why she has to leave, I ask myself, "how can you take her away from this perfection?" And my only answer is, "this is God's move and that's where I want to be."
One last time to the pharmacist and the assistant that I adore. She remembers me by heart and we have our own little friendship. I'm not sure that exists at pharmacies in other places, but it does for me here. I have to remind myself, "this is God's move and that's where I want to be."
Thinking about leaving the pediatrician that knows my babies and has gotten me through so many ups and downs is devastating. The one that returns my calls and genuinely cares about my family. Someone I trust completely with all of my children's medical needs and decisions. Someone I always said could never be replaced. But now I have to replace him and I'm not sure it will ever be the same. I have to remind myself, "this is God's move and that's where I want to be."
In two days we will say goodbye to a school that I prayed for. A school that you can't just go back to once you leave. A school that supports a parent's choice and refuses to allow your child to be ordinary. A school that I dedicated my time to. A school where I have forged friendships and partnerships. And yet we are leaving, and I have to accept a new educational route that was not in my plan. Again, I have to remind myself, "this is God's move and that's where I want to be."
So many goodbyes this week. To guitar teachers, acting programs, neighbors, new friends, acquaintances, familiarity, and the chance that it is all for the last time. You realize that over time you have built this amazing life full of people in all corners that have given you so much, and it's really sad to say goodbye. People you love in your own way. People who make up your ordinary, everyday life. And as I shed tears for the loss of this amazing ensemble, I take a breath and remind myself, "this is God's move and that's where I want to be."
God heard my prayers and this is His answer. I will not let this door close; I am barging in to our new adventure. I want the story He chooses for us. I want this chapter to begin. I trust God.
And so I will shed a few more tears this week. Tears of sadness and gratitude. Tears for goodbyes that may or may not be forever. Tears for dreams that have changed. But you better bet, that in those tears you will find my heart tugging to start God's new plan for us. A plan that will be hard at times and will require me to be faithful and patient. A plan that makes me move further away from my parents and sisters, and yet gives me so much peace that I don't wince at the suggestion of change. A plan that God staged just for us. I am so ready for God's move, that is where I want to be.
